Me.
Lucky you two people who read this out of
It all started on what I presume to be a glorious day in 1986. No, that's too much. I'm saving my life story for an autobiography
Hmm..
I abuse the word "hate." In actuality, I don't hate everything. I'm usually mildy annoyed or in great dislike of people, things, and trends but I tend to bottle up my grousing until one day I can't take it anymore and it pours out of me and drowns everything like a flash flood in Pakistan (too soon?). I should say it gives way like a Chilean mine. They're still trapped? Wow, that was insensitive. (Guess who's been reading Yahoo news kids?) But for realsies, I truly only hate 2 people and they're for very good reasons. Yes, I don't like a lot of people, but there are only two I wouldn't mind getting hit by a bus. Well, I would, but I wouldn't feel too bad. Unless they did get hit by a bus, then I'd feel like I jinxed them. I wouldn't want to live with that. I do tend to start cold wars in my head with people I've never talked to. Right now they pertain to the bitch in the Lexus that cut me off when I was in the turn lane on Fairview who also goes to the same gym that I do and the creepy older guy with stringy hair who also goes to my gym who Bogart's a machine I need to use in my workout for half an hour PLUS he steals the weights I need to use for another exercise to act as a stand for his portable fan! I'm 50% sure they're aware of their enemy status. They'll catch on soon.
My sister Francesca and I have invented a good number of games we play. For pinky swear clauses I can't tell you a number of them, but some of our most successful (and appropriate) could possibly become Olympic sports. All I'm saying is if you see a category for Inflatable Ottoman Ball in 2024, don't say I didn't tell you so.
I swear to God I thought up the Hannah Montana idea first. I was 9 at the time and didn't think to cash in. Of course, I would've played the secret pop star and it would have been a much better show, but I guess we'll never know.
My best friends call me Angry Eyes. It's pretty self-explanatory.
My favorite class in college was Clowning. If you laughed at that, then you should not be my friend. No you still can, you just obviously don't know me or college drama classes. my roommate senior year said she wanted to take Clowning as an "easy class" and I almost went off on her. First of all, it was for drama majors only, and just because you get to make people laugh all day does not mean it's easy. Some people just don't get it.
Some people would call me a cynic, but I prefer realist. Particularly with romance. I believe everyone out there has someone, but they don't always meet that person at the perfect time. Sometimes you meet them when you're five, sometimes when you're 20, sometimes not until you're 60. And I'm ok with that. I think everyone expects to meet that person when they are in their mid 20's, get married and have kids by the time they're 30 something. It doesn't always go as you plan. I'm not saying you won't find someone and get married, they just might not be the right person. Right? Well, that's what I think.
I'm very stubborn, but I always remember what my mom said to me one day: "You have the right to change your opinion whenever you want." And sometimes it's hard to do that, but just because you hate something one day doesn't mean you have to continue hating it for the rest of your life. Don't even say "Like biking?" My opinion has not swayed. We'll see if the circumstances change in a few years. Cheeky bastards.
I think the worst thing someone could say to me (besides "I wish your family would die a horrible death") is that I'm nice. It's bad because they mean it in a good way, so you can't get angry with them, but when I hear "nice" I hear "boring." I know it's not what they mean, but it kind of is. That's what I mean when I use it. You can't think of anything else but you don't dislike them, so you say they're nice. I know that I'm not super thrilling, but I'm not boring. I'm definitely not nice. Nice people don't ignore bums on the street when they ask for change. Nice people don't laugh when they see someone fall. Nice people don't judge someone because they still have a myspace. That's all I'm saying.
I don't enjoy chocolate as much as other women do. I know, the Cathy comic is wrong! I don't hate it or anything, it's just not a weakness of mine. But put some sour candy in front of me, and a few minutes later the only thing left will be my tears from the loss of my tooth enamel. Sure I can't eat anything remotely sweet or inhale through my mouth for a few days, but it's worth it. Well, not really, but regret never stops me. If my Nemesis just read that, please ignore. I was just trying to throw you off the course. I have no weaknesses! HA! To my non-foes, that is a hint if you ever feel a need to buy me candy.
I could write more but I sense your interest dwindling.
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