So a few years ago, I started a game with my college roommate, Polly. It was called "Let's see what cutlery we can steal from Cheesecake Factory." It was more of a competition than a necessity. When we explained it to friends, some people would look at us with concern in their eyes, and offer us their extra silverware, if we were really that hard up. They just didn't get it. It was for funsies. I was really bored, too. Sometimes, the game would expand to the dining hall, mainly with fruit.. The next year, I let my roommates in on the game, only to discover that my new roommate, Maggie, was already an avid restaurant thief. We combined our talents and got some great silverware that year, my pride and joy being that huge steak knife from Outback. I never saw this as wrong, per say. I mean, I knew waiters would probably look down at it, maybe even stop us if they saw it going on, but for the most part, it was silverware. They probably lose more in the trash then they do with people stealing it. Plus, I have a thing against chain restaurants. They have millions of locations across the world, and a lot of sexual harassment or unfair work environment lawsuits to look after, so I doubt that they were ever concerned about the loss of forks from their Irvine chain.
I highly encourage this game to you out there, just don't get caught. Because it would be the stupidest thing to get caught stealing. Seriously.
I have since ceased my game, mainly because my mom would probably question why we have mismatched silverware in our drawers, and also because I don't go out to eat a lot anymore, and when I do, it's a local place. I draw the line at local establishments. Plus, my wonderful little sister told my parents about it, and it was like I robbed a bank. They were horrified by it, and my dad said I was a sociopath because I didn't feel any remorse. From stealing silverware. Because that's where sociopaths start. With forks. If I had killed someone, maybe I'd agree with him, but I did not.
But where's the line drawn? Was it wrong for me to give my friends free drinks when they would visit me at work? Or save my ice tea cups so I only have to pay .65 cents instead of 2.35 when I go to the bean? Or take the stupid dress code poster on my last day? I think not. I'd like to think that I have a good moral code when it comes to other things. I'm like the wimpy version of Robin Hood. But I think on a list of travesties, mine would not even be on there. I'm not just saying that to make myself feel better, it's true. I mean, people steal dogs just so they can collect the reward. That's pretty low. Or those scammers that targeted the families of 9/11 victims? REALLY? I know that was a long jump from abducting pets, it still pisses me off. I always measure my wrongdoings by how guilty I feel. That wouldn't fly with a priest, but I think it's a good rule of thumb. If you feel guilty, you're probably doing something bad. Unless you're a sociopath, of course.
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