"Basically, these are the basics."

       I don't mean to get all uppity, but I hold a belief that there are standards for writing, particularly journalism. I also would like to think that the youth of today aren't as dumb as their facebook status' make them out to be (I'm looking at you, Johnny Boy!). And yes, I know I'm young as well, but I feel like I age 40 years when I'm around teenagers. All they do is text and drive and play their music loud, damn it. Get off my yard.
       I am aware that no one but my family, friends and a faithful co-worker read this blog, but if there are some teenagers reading this, listen to me: we have a hard time taking you seriously. Especially when you write something. We will scrutinize the shit out of anything you produce because we expect it to suck. You may already know this, but to those who did not, shouldn't that be enough incentive to prove us wrong? I am aware that not all teens are like this. My girl Quinn Sosna-Spear is an established playwright who just graduated from high school. She has been called a prodigy by people that review her shows, and has been paid. Yeah, I know!

       The aforementioned genius aside, I stumbled upon a magazine that only helped to further prove my point. It's called Snaps Magazine, and I only discovered it because they were looking for local writers. I found an issue online, and I only had to read the table of contents before I knew this was not the magazine for me. Some of the articles included a column written under the alias "party girl," tips on how to avoid getting your "kickback" "rousted," and what the typical IV girl looks like (skanky, right?). I thought "Okay, college students who want to be heard, I get it. I grew out of that but let's see what they have to say." It soon became obvious to me that these were kids were not co-eds. A quick facebook stalk search confirmed that many of the writers were indeed babies who had just graduated this past June. I didn't need to do so, the stories glorifying parties in IV should have been sufficient proof. They didn't stop there. They also had articles on the "hidden gems" of Santa Barbara, such as Rusty's Pizza, Yogurtland, Norton's Pastrami, and Freebirds. Oh yes they did. Sorry kiddos, every local already knows about those places; people from out of town have heard of those places; Yogurtland is a chain for crying out loud!
          The clincher was the writing. I know when it's all opinion, there are little to no rules mandating what is right and what is wrong. But for God's sake, at least have an understanding of the basic rules. Like run-on sentences. Or maybe keep a thesaurus next to your computer Or just maybe keep the thesaurus website tabbed on your page so you don't keep repeating the same adjective over and over again. Or maybe you can read what you just wrote aloud and change anything that doesn't sound right. Like what? Oh, I don't know, maybe the line I used as my title: "Basically, these are the basics." Really? Please, just look at it. Mouth the words. Sound them out. Proof reading is worth the effort.
         It's not like I enjoy making fun of you. No, I do. I really, really, do. You and your Bieber haircuts and all that angst bottled up inside you. But there's a big part of me hoping that you will prove me wrong. I have done my part trying to tear down the youth stereotypes, but my time is over. I have my own 20-something stereotypes to prove wrong. Well, not right now, because I'm actually perpetuating some, but I have six more years to work on them. Leave me alone. At least I know how to write. Ooh, ya burnt!

Here's a link to see for yourself: This is your future America
Enjoy.