What I'm Thankful For

As I sit in a house that's not mine, trying to find a place to put my purse so it isn't in the way but always ends up being in the way, feeling useless because I want to help but  don't want to get yelled at if I mess up the said helping, watching a football game on tv that I could care less about, all the while hoping someone switches the channel and happens upon The Incredibles playing on Disney, there is one thing on my mind that makes it all worthwhile:
Stuffing.
Beautiful, glorious stuffing. I really don't see why people nicknamed Thanksgiving Turkey Day when it's really all about the stuffing. Stuffing Day would be so much more appropriate. And it is a day where we indeed eat to the max, thereby "stuffing" our bodies, if you will, so it works both ways. I don't think I've ever met someone who did not say, "Yeah, turkey's ok, but what I really love is the stuffing." It's the number one desirable on the dinner table. It's the first leftover to disappear, if there is any to save. Nobody is saving a spot on their plate for cranberry sauce. It really makes my day go round. Even after the plates are cleared, and people start claiming patches of carpet to nap on, I'm thinking about 2nd dinner and the stuffing i will again pile on my plate in a few hours. I feel so bad for the souls who have ever suffered from bad stuffing. God knows I've heard horror stories. Bad ones. And the worst? Some fancy Aunt/Uncle decides that watching food network makes them a real chef and makes some gourmet stuffing with pecans or some other shit in it. Thankfully, that has never happened to me, and I'm pretty sure I will riot if someone substituted Old Faithful for "Stuffing Pizza." It's exactly as it sounds.

For some reason, this is the only day I eat stuffing (Friday after Thanksgiving excluded). I know stores sell it, but I feel just a little ridiculous and lot like a stoner if I sought out stuffing on regular days. I know there's no rule, but there is a guideline, and it's probably in my best interest to follow that guideline. And just like the McRib*, maybe stuffing is all the rage and then some because you only get it once a year. Unless you have it on Christmas too. Which I still don't get. Why turkey on both holidays that are a month apart? Branch out a little more, Whiteys.

So on this upcoming Thanksgiving Day, enjoy your stuffing. You earned it. And add an extra scoop for me. For reals. If you cannot finish it, which is highly doubtful because, come on, it's stuffing, pack it up and send it my way.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

*This in no way condones the consumption of McRib sandwiches. I'm looking at you, Maggie Clarke.