As my older sister constantly reminds me in that signature high pitched voice of hers, I hate a lot of things. She sees it as a bad thing, I see it as a good thing. People who love everything are not to be trusted. It's as simple as that.
What my dear sister does not realize is how very wrong she is about me. I just happen to hate everything she likes. And with good reason. For those who don't know her, she thinks quality comedy is Legally Blonde. Right?
I'm veering off my reason for writing here today. There is something out there that I love and hate with equal fervor. I can say for certain that everyone in the modern day world agrees with me on this. For once in this world, everyone is joined together in a brotherhood (or sisterhood for any protesting feminists reading this) by the same on-again, off-again relationship they have with their biggest frenemy:
Facebook.
You all know the feeling. You love being able to stalk people on it but hate the fact that you yourself can be stalked. You hate how addicting it is to check your feed for updates yet you can't stop doing it 10 times an hour*. And so here is my love/hate list:
LOVE
-Parents/old people on facebook.
-It's cute, really. They don't how to work everything so they end up leaving a comment on their own page. Or they write you a comment like they were writing you a letter. They sign their name and everything! They leave countless peppy messages on their kids walls, wishing them nothing but love everyday. They join every single facebook game that has to do with animals. They reconnect with their friends and you get to learn maiden names.
HATE
-Parents/old people on facebook
-It's a double edged sword, ya'll. It's just not right. It's the reason why myspace fell so quickly. Parents joined, became friends with their kids and everyone fled. It'll happen here soon. Someone just needs to start another site, make it really exclusive so everyone will want to join, then eventually let everyone on, and repeat.
And I hate feeling like an ass when I leave a caustic remark on a friend's wall, then check back a few hours later to discover their mother left them a really sweet comment above mine. They don't know I'm joking. They probably hate me. And I think my love for old people on facebook would be diminished if my mother joined. All sorts of bad would happen then. So for now, it's a mix.
LOVE
Status Updates
-I'm not going to lie. I love writing stuff in my status. I try to make it funny as not to annoy people when they scroll through their friends opinions, but it's also because I want people to write on my wall. You do it too. It's really an easy way to get praise for the day. I'm a middle child, what's your excuse?
HATE
Whiny Updates/People who Egg the Whiners On
-We get it. Your life sucks. And I also know you're writing this to receive affirmations that your life, in fact, does not suck. You have so much to live for! And as for the girls who complain about being single/can't find a good man/feel unloved, shut your mouth. You know it's not true, you just want to hear it from others. And don't think I've forgotten about you, you pushers. Why do you fall for their attention seeking ways? Do you honestly believe they are a second away from jumping off a bridge? If they are, I doubt they would be updating thier status. Honestly though, I wouldn't put it past anyone.
LOVE
Being able to "like" things
-It's better than having to leave a comment. It's there for when you enjoy what a person had to say, or a funny picture someone posted, etc. but you don't have much else to say about it. Wonderful. It's also useful for when your friends post some good news about them that you don't necessarily like, but feel like a bad friend for ignoring it. Apparently. So I've been told.
HATE
Employers searching on Facebook
-I hate that some companies now ask you to send a link to your facebook page when you apply for a job. I have even heard that employers ask to friend you when you're at the interview. Lines are getting blurred, and I for one think that what I do on facebook is for me and my 300 friends to know about. It's not for work, it's for fun. Until I send out an invitation to the one act I'm directing in May which everyone better attend or else their pets will go missing, it's just for fun.
LOVE
Hiding people
-My favorite thing. It's better than deleting friends. You just hide them, and your day gets better. No offense to my friends, but there are some of you who take to the update like no one's business. Or you like to share facts about your children's digestive habits. Or you play a million games. I'm sorry to say, but I really don't care. This way, no one's feelings get hurt. Nobody needs to know. And we have all felt that sting of when you look up a profile and see that "Add so-and-so as a friend" button when you were pretty sure that you were already friends, and not just the "we met once" friends. I'm looking at you Amelia. But you can't see this. Because you defriended me.
HATE
Check-ins
-Is this what they're called? Anways, to the people who use it: aren't you just a little creeped out that someone can track your every move with assistance from you yourself? I do know for a very creepy fact that someone i know has used this before to their advantage. There's more out there. But for realsies here, I don't care that you're at the airport. Or at the bowling alley. Or that you're eating korean bbq. Unless you're inviting me to dine with you, I don't want to know where that restaurant is.
LOVE
Sharing links
Thank you Zuckerberg for making it easier to post articles or cleverly written blog posts. It's better then the old way of copying the link, then trying to embed it on your wall, unsure of if it will appear or just post the link and all that other nonsense that's vital to the video but looks like I just suffered a stroke and started pressing random numbers on the keyboard. No, i do not know the exact words for that, I'm only human. You know what I'm talking about, so don't make me explain. Anyways, thanks for that.
HATE
Losing a personal connection
-Let's get dark here for a second. We get so personal online, we share so much stuff, but if we were interacting face to face, we wouldn't dare to do that with people we barely knew. Plus, people facebook you to catch up instead of calling you. You literally have nothing to talk about when you encounter an old friend you haven't seen in years because you already know what's going on in their lives. I'll admit it: it's easier to talk to someone when it's not face to face. However, I do like interacting with people, it's good for the soul, and I'd like to be able to continue doing that with others.
Well, that's all I have the patience and time for. There probably are more, and they'll come to me as soon as I post this, but that's where you come in, readers. All three of you. Tell me your love/hates about the Face and I will read them and like them. Unless I don't agree with you. Then I'm deleting you as a friend. You have been warned.
*This statistic does not apply to those who have facebook on their phones. That could up the count. I don't know how you live your life.
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