What I'm Thankful For

As I sit in a house that's not mine, trying to find a place to put my purse so it isn't in the way but always ends up being in the way, feeling useless because I want to help but  don't want to get yelled at if I mess up the said helping, watching a football game on tv that I could care less about, all the while hoping someone switches the channel and happens upon The Incredibles playing on Disney, there is one thing on my mind that makes it all worthwhile:
Stuffing.
Beautiful, glorious stuffing. I really don't see why people nicknamed Thanksgiving Turkey Day when it's really all about the stuffing. Stuffing Day would be so much more appropriate. And it is a day where we indeed eat to the max, thereby "stuffing" our bodies, if you will, so it works both ways. I don't think I've ever met someone who did not say, "Yeah, turkey's ok, but what I really love is the stuffing." It's the number one desirable on the dinner table. It's the first leftover to disappear, if there is any to save. Nobody is saving a spot on their plate for cranberry sauce. It really makes my day go round. Even after the plates are cleared, and people start claiming patches of carpet to nap on, I'm thinking about 2nd dinner and the stuffing i will again pile on my plate in a few hours. I feel so bad for the souls who have ever suffered from bad stuffing. God knows I've heard horror stories. Bad ones. And the worst? Some fancy Aunt/Uncle decides that watching food network makes them a real chef and makes some gourmet stuffing with pecans or some other shit in it. Thankfully, that has never happened to me, and I'm pretty sure I will riot if someone substituted Old Faithful for "Stuffing Pizza." It's exactly as it sounds.

For some reason, this is the only day I eat stuffing (Friday after Thanksgiving excluded). I know stores sell it, but I feel just a little ridiculous and lot like a stoner if I sought out stuffing on regular days. I know there's no rule, but there is a guideline, and it's probably in my best interest to follow that guideline. And just like the McRib*, maybe stuffing is all the rage and then some because you only get it once a year. Unless you have it on Christmas too. Which I still don't get. Why turkey on both holidays that are a month apart? Branch out a little more, Whiteys.

So on this upcoming Thanksgiving Day, enjoy your stuffing. You earned it. And add an extra scoop for me. For reals. If you cannot finish it, which is highly doubtful because, come on, it's stuffing, pack it up and send it my way.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

*This in no way condones the consumption of McRib sandwiches. I'm looking at you, Maggie Clarke.

SmorgasBORED of thoughts.

Well, I'm bored as usual at work, and I decided to have that work for me and pick up my playwriting/screenwriting/any kind of theatrical writing because let's face it, it's fate that I am sitting in front of a computer all day with a lot of time on my hands. The universe is begging me to write. One tiny problem: I have writer's block. OF COURSE. I have it in all aspects of my life, including this blog that was started in order to amuse you and myself; well mainly just me and maybe my bored co-worker, and just the teensiest bit for resume purposes in case an online magazine is looking for a blogger specializing in rants and television. Thankfully, I can now write about writer's block so I guess I don't have it anymore but once I'm done with this post I will have to go back to simultaneously writing and deleting which has unwittingly turned into my new favorite past time.

And now I'm stuck again. I swear I had more on the subject but it left my brain. Now all I can think about is how Undercovers has been cancelled and I'm not too surprised because it wasn't anything out of the ordinary but I'm also sad because that means Ben Schwartz is out of a job but that also makes me happy because it wasn't a good role for him. Yes I did have coffee today why do you ask? Is it my lack of a structured sentence? Grammar can suck it right now cause I'm just going with the flow. Back to the show: I never gave you a review of it because I really didn't want to. The whole show was just about married spies who have to learn how to work together as a team in a new way. And NBC wondered why it wasn't attracting a young audience.

Back to writing. I have a lot of things swirling around in my little head that always sound good until I put them to paper. Right now I have three plots about a girl my age who isn't doing anything with her life. Whomever said to draw from your own experiences should have followed up with "if your experiences are exciting." Naturally those plots are on the back burner. And by back burner I mean saved and probably not revisited until I have to clear some space on my flash drive. I admire all you real writers out there. You can probably think of a beginning, middle, and end off the top of your head. I'm still stuck on the beginning.

I'm over this. McLafferty Out.

Halloweentown 2.

Song Stuck in Head: Fernando-Abba

I hope everyone had a good Halloween. I actually had plans for the first time in years, which sounds really sad but I don't lie about how boring my life is. That would be unfair the older me whenever she wants to reminisce about what a self righteous smart ass she was. Good times.
My friend Jessica discovered a 70's Soul dance party at SoHo on Saturday night. We all attempted to dress as 70's as we could. I say attempted mainly because I couldn't find anything that I liked/ fit me until the very last minute, and even then it was eh. Turns out it was not strictly 70's dress up, it was any costume, but oh well. They didn't turn us away. I made some makeshift bell bottoms an hour before I met up with my friends a.k.a. I pinned the fabric to my jeans. They hurt whenever they caught on my skin, but I got used to it. I had a Led Zeppelin vintage shirt for my top; I guess I was trying to go as a female Hyde from That 70's Show. Jess braided a band for my head, which helped tie my look down to a specific era. I like going to SoHo, mainly because I was one of the younger ones there. Everyone else was definitely 15 years my senior, and it's nice not having to crawl amongst the stupid 21 year olds that populate the other bars I seldom visit. And not to brag, but we were easily the best dancers there. i don't know if you lose skills as you age, or maybe it was the demographic (white, middle aged, heavy drinkers), but it wasn't hard to do. I couldn't seem to make out most of the costumes, but there was a guy who was dressed like the alien guy in Avatar whose name I would know if I saw that movie (suck it, James Cameron), and when he wore the full mask he looked super creepy. PLUS, we saw a big group of people do the thriller dance. Yeah/

I actually succeeded at my pumpkin carving adventure this year. Every time I attempt to do a somewhat intricate design it turns into a huge hole. In honor of my blind, not so cute dog Snuffles, I carved a Boston Terrier. If she could have seen it, I'd say she'd approve, then bark at me to get her a treat. Stupid dog. Johnny Boy did a tribute to Conan which looked awesome, and you'll have to take my word for it because I don't have the pictures uploaded yet. My hands, fingers, and arms hurt today, and even though I immediately assumed it to be early onset arthritis, common sense kicked in when I went over my previous day. Pumpkin carving is hard work, yo.

I also made my Dad's chili. Well, it's not his creation, but it's the one he made every Halloween for us and it is amazing and one of the few foods he could make better than my mom. That and meatloaf. It's ok, she's aware of it. I have extra if anyone in the Santa Barbara area wants some. Seriously. It can serve a small army.


High point of my day: Customers did not make me want to shove a pencil into my forehead. Success!