-Emmy "think tanks" should not turn to Twitter users for ideas. They are not comedy writers for a reason.
-I want to look like Christina Hendricks.
-My sister should not call me crazy because I laugh at everything if she's the one who broke into a gated community and into the backyard of my cousin's house when she was not at home.
-Walmart is, and will always be a horrible experience for me, no matter how "super" it is.
-Public restrooms are where you come in contact with the worst people.
-Little boys can use women's restrooms, but please, think twice about taking them into women's locker rooms, unless you want them scarred for life.
-Marie Callendar's has an intense brunch buffet.
-Netflix has turned work Saturdays into "movie Saturdays with a side of selling tickets" and I like it.
-Older people work out in the morning, hot guys work out at night
-I like going to the gym at night
-Days off should not start with getting up at 7:30
-I need to learn how to Charleston a la Pete and Trudy from Mad Men
-My mom's lost coffee cup will always be in the microwave. Always.
-My kittens are fascinated by the clock I put up in the bathroom.
-My brother likes Glee.
-You could live in an Ikea store if you had to.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
So bad, it's good
So, I am a television fiend. And I know how that sounds. Immediately you picture me in sweats lazing in front of the screen with a popcorn bowl balanced on my stomach with a slack jaw, my eyes glazed over.Well, stop it. right now. That is not what I do. I'm serious. Get it out of your head.
As someone who would indeed consider watching television a finely-crafted art form, I would like to share with you my list of bad tv that I know you watch with a fervor but would be embarrassed to admit aloud to strangers lest they think that you're mentally incompetent. It's the shows you hate to love, or ones you never knew existed, but are totally going to check them out right after I write this. You know it's true.
Glee- Yes, I do freely admit that I watch it, download the songs, and sing the songs as loud as I can, but only to my friends. I am aware that it is terribly written and feels like it has to spell things out for us (like the theme funk. "I'm in a funk" "vocal adrenaline has put us in a funk" "I'm sorry, I'm just in a funk this week." "Let's do only funk songs to get us out of this funk." really?) but I will watch the episodes over and over again. And yes, Jane lynch is awesome on there, but she can only do so much for that show. Some characters aren't well rounded, some just seem to be there to show how their acting (Tina the "Punk." She's not necessary. Mike Chang is just a dancer/overenthusiastic nodder and he serves more purpose than her)
Greek- This show is like the perfect daughter who sneaks out of the house and parties with tattooed, 30-something men who street race and are all named Vasquez. It still has to be careful about the content, but it does push the envelope for an ABC Family show. It has it's funny moments too, but only a few. The guys on the show are well-written and hilarious, the girls are annoying and kind of stupid. I don't know if that's on purpose.
My Boys- I can't help it. Give me a girl who is "one of the boys" but is trying not to be seen that way in the eyes of the guy she likes and you got me hooked. As a once little girl who used to pretend she was the only lost girl in Never Never Land it resonates with me. It has its stupid moments, mainly from the one character I hate in television (the "comedian." he's supposed to be the goofy one that makes everyone laugh but he's NEVER funny). It's funny how TBS' motto is "Very Funny" when it has a Tyler Perry show on what seems like 5 nights a week, but this one isn't so bad.* Well, not as bad as "Meet the Paynes" or whatever it's called.
Drop Dead Diva- This was a hard one for me to write, but I have to let you all know that it is out there, if you haven't accidentally discovered it by yourself. Now, you only have to see that they had Paula Abdul on as a guest star to know it's not top notch quality, but you can't tear your eyes away from it. Now, I'm not an avid watcher as I am Glee, I've only seen four episodes all the way through, but I will openly admit that if it was down to this show or the Daily Show, I'd choose the former. I know. It is nice to see a plus-sized star, even though it's a bit stereotypical (she needs Cheese Whiz to calm her down when she's stressed. Yeah, because all the fatties do that).
Covert Affairs- She's a CIA agent...who loves shoes! Not really, but that's what my siblings and I say whenever we see a commercial for it. It's that kind of premise, a tad overused in this day and age, in my personal opinion. We watch mainly to make fun of it and the awesome Russian accents that crop up here and there, but it's not horrible. I think it has something to do with Piper Perabo. She's annoyed me ever since Coyote Ugly, with that big know-it-all smile. I want to smack it off her face.
Melissa and Joey-Sabrina the Teenage Witch is all grown up, while Joey is in yet another show where he can keep his first name. It must be in his contract. This show just started, but I know where it's going to go (they fall for each other). It's not that great, but it's Sabrina and Joey! come on. I'm sure it'll be background tv while I'm
Ghost Whisperer- There are no new episodes that I know of, but repeats are on Mondays nights on the Sci-Fi-excuse me, the Sy-Fy Channel (because that makes more sense). It's pretty brilliant, seeing as how Monday nights are normally dead. But the show is...interesting. it's just an hour of JLoveHew doing her thang as a ghost therapist. But it's not bad if you can't get enough of otherworldly stuff (like me), or if Medium isn't on (unless it's 1 am, then drop this show and head on over to lifetime)
There are more, but I could spend a lifetime on bad/good tv. Seriously, you underestimate how much I enjoy reading my thoughts on the world of entertainment. Now these shows are not to be confused with reality shows. They have to have their own categories of the good, bad, and VH1 shows. Nor are these to be thrown in the pile of bad/bad tv shows (Secret Life of the American Teenager, Two and 1/2 Men, Army Wives, remakes of Melrose place and 90210, the show where Jenna Elfman gets impregnated by a hot guy then whines about it, One Tree Hill, anything NBC puts on mid-mid season).
Now go inside and start watching some stuff that will rot your brain. It's good for you.
*I will retract my statement once Conan starts his show. Then, and only then will I call the Super Station very funny.
Monday, August 23, 2010
I would elaborate, but it'd just get ugly
Things That I Currently Hate Which You Should Hate Too Because You Love and Support Me
1. Drivers who clean their windshields on the freeway when I'm right behind them
2. Movies that are parodying something but not very well (Date/Dance/Disaster Movies. oh and the vampire one)
3. Pageant mothers
4. Slow computers
5. My addiction to Facebook games
6. CARE-A-VANS that are incredibly slow and take up two lanes when it has to make a right turn
7. Any vans/buses/trucks that keep me from getting to work on time
8. Andy from the Real Housewives reunions
9. People who think they're funny and they're not. They're really not. (see #2 as example)
10. Customers who think I can magically change prices on tickets if they complain enough
11. Mondays
12. Tuesdays
13. Dj's who keep talking about boring stuff when all you want to do is hear a song
14. The sandals I'm currently wearing
15. The sandals I bought but broke within a month that I have yet to return
16. Spam
17. Facebook ads that think I'm a stoner
18. Facebook ads that think I'm religious
19. Facebook ads that think I'm a photographer
20. People who love their jobs
It's that kind of day. Your turn. Go.
1. Drivers who clean their windshields on the freeway when I'm right behind them
2. Movies that are parodying something but not very well (Date/Dance/Disaster Movies. oh and the vampire one)
3. Pageant mothers
4. Slow computers
5. My addiction to Facebook games
6. CARE-A-VANS that are incredibly slow and take up two lanes when it has to make a right turn
7. Any vans/buses/trucks that keep me from getting to work on time
8. Andy from the Real Housewives reunions
9. People who think they're funny and they're not. They're really not. (see #2 as example)
10. Customers who think I can magically change prices on tickets if they complain enough
11. Mondays
12. Tuesdays
13. Dj's who keep talking about boring stuff when all you want to do is hear a song
14. The sandals I'm currently wearing
15. The sandals I bought but broke within a month that I have yet to return
16. Spam
17. Facebook ads that think I'm a stoner
18. Facebook ads that think I'm religious
19. Facebook ads that think I'm a photographer
20. People who love their jobs
It's that kind of day. Your turn. Go.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
All in con-text. Keep reading, you'll get it soon.
I fear that we all text too much for our own good. I say this because I now have a problem calling people. I rarely call my friends; instead, I text them, even if I have no service at my house and have to wait four hours to get a response. They rarely call me; instead, they text me even when they know I'm home and never check my phone due to the lack of service. This often results in a lack of hanging out, which results in a lack of a social life. And at work last week, I was designated the task of calling a list of people that I don't know and talking with them with the intention of getting them to renew their Jazz subscription series. This caused me to have a slight panic attack, then a bigger panic attack due to the fact that I would even have a panic attack about this. I used to be so good at calling people, particularly people I didn't know. In fact, my sister used to ask me to call and make appointments for her because she was afraid of talking on the phone. Naturally, I refused, but I was flattered nonetheless. Normally, I would end up coaching/laughing at her awkward conversations. I'm such a good sister.
And last year, when I worked in that hell of a theater, I had to make up to 60 calls a day to get people to book auditions. I mean, I know that's not how it usually works "in the business," but that was quid pro quo at that place. By the end, I could easily call people, even numbers on Craigslist when I was helping my sister apartment hunt (yes, I made the calls for her then. Only a little mocking ensued).
But now, I am a stuttering mess of a girl due to unlimited texts. I even text while I'm driving. I know, big gasp from the audience, but you do it too. I'm not condoning it, I honestly do think it's way more dangerous than talking on your phone, but I still do it in order to avoid talking. It's madness I tell you.
And texting instead of calling is now highly encouraged in order to appease our bashful genration, who can't make a phone call but have no qualms about posting TMI all over facebook (example: failbooking.com). Tire companies now let you text them questions about their prices, people can help Haiti by texting, KGB will answer your random questions instantly via text plus a small fee. The world is at your fingertips, literally.
The funniest thing for me is when people say they've had a fight with someone, and as they're telling you about it, you slowly realize it's all through text messaging. But you don't know it at first, so you're sitting there, in awe of this person for calling the other one out, and amazed that they had the balls to say that to their face, because God knows you could never do that- until it hits you that they weren't even in the same room. I mean, good for you for getting that off your chest, but that's a coward's fight.
One of my roommates could never text me because all her text messages were being used to talk to guys who were too afraid to call her. Come on men, step it up. I know a text doesn't seem like you're being too forward, but it's not helping you.
But texting is there when you are unable to talk aloud, like when you're in a boring class, or at work, or when you're in church. I'm just kidding about that last one; I don't go to church. It's a good way to send a random thought to a friend. I have a lot of those, and my friends are more comfortable with my random texts then they are with my random calls. I tend to ramble when I have nothing else to say. It's also a good way to make an awkward car ride hilarious in silence. Jess, Maggie, you know what I'm talking about.
And don't get me started on facebook. I am indeed an addict, but it seems normal to you until you have to explain to your mother how you know so much about an old classmate you haven't seen since graduation.
Mom: So you talked to them through the facebook?
Me: no, we don't talk.
Mom: so how do you know so much about them?
Me: well, they have a page where they post things they've done, and I read that, but I didn't talk to them.
Mom: I thought you said you were friends.
Me: On facebook, Ma! You don't have to talk to them to be friends with them!
Mom: I still don't get it.
I don't blame her. I feel like a stalker by the time I explain it all to her again.
I'm calling for society to man up, and get over this new fear of face to face time with people, or I guess, voice to voice.God knows what will happen if we continue to have all of our interaction through a text or a social network. High school reunions would cease to exist. Hmm, that might not be such a bad thing...
And last year, when I worked in that hell of a theater, I had to make up to 60 calls a day to get people to book auditions. I mean, I know that's not how it usually works "in the business," but that was quid pro quo at that place. By the end, I could easily call people, even numbers on Craigslist when I was helping my sister apartment hunt (yes, I made the calls for her then. Only a little mocking ensued).
But now, I am a stuttering mess of a girl due to unlimited texts. I even text while I'm driving. I know, big gasp from the audience, but you do it too. I'm not condoning it, I honestly do think it's way more dangerous than talking on your phone, but I still do it in order to avoid talking. It's madness I tell you.
And texting instead of calling is now highly encouraged in order to appease our bashful genration, who can't make a phone call but have no qualms about posting TMI all over facebook (example: failbooking.com). Tire companies now let you text them questions about their prices, people can help Haiti by texting, KGB will answer your random questions instantly via text plus a small fee. The world is at your fingertips, literally.
The funniest thing for me is when people say they've had a fight with someone, and as they're telling you about it, you slowly realize it's all through text messaging. But you don't know it at first, so you're sitting there, in awe of this person for calling the other one out, and amazed that they had the balls to say that to their face, because God knows you could never do that- until it hits you that they weren't even in the same room. I mean, good for you for getting that off your chest, but that's a coward's fight.
One of my roommates could never text me because all her text messages were being used to talk to guys who were too afraid to call her. Come on men, step it up. I know a text doesn't seem like you're being too forward, but it's not helping you.
But texting is there when you are unable to talk aloud, like when you're in a boring class, or at work, or when you're in church. I'm just kidding about that last one; I don't go to church. It's a good way to send a random thought to a friend. I have a lot of those, and my friends are more comfortable with my random texts then they are with my random calls. I tend to ramble when I have nothing else to say. It's also a good way to make an awkward car ride hilarious in silence. Jess, Maggie, you know what I'm talking about.
And don't get me started on facebook. I am indeed an addict, but it seems normal to you until you have to explain to your mother how you know so much about an old classmate you haven't seen since graduation.
Mom: So you talked to them through the facebook?
Me: no, we don't talk.
Mom: so how do you know so much about them?
Me: well, they have a page where they post things they've done, and I read that, but I didn't talk to them.
Mom: I thought you said you were friends.
Me: On facebook, Ma! You don't have to talk to them to be friends with them!
Mom: I still don't get it.
I don't blame her. I feel like a stalker by the time I explain it all to her again.
I'm calling for society to man up, and get over this new fear of face to face time with people, or I guess, voice to voice.God knows what will happen if we continue to have all of our interaction through a text or a social network. High school reunions would cease to exist. Hmm, that might not be such a bad thing...
Monday, August 16, 2010
The Other Woman
Those of you who know me are aware that I am one gold-melting kit away from creating a shrine to Tina Fey. If only amazon had one...and if only I had actual gold to melt...details, minor, insignificant details.
Tina is the subjest of my adoration for many reasons, most of which I share with the rest of the nerd world out there. She is smart, funny, successful, and proof that you can outgrow your highschool awkwardness. But most of all, she has redefined hollywood's version of the true modern day woman.
Now, I'm aware she didn't do this all by herself, but she has definitely mastered it. Before Liz Lemon came into the scene, all we had for role models were the SATC crew. Now, I know some of you ladies out there can't get enough of Carrie, but come on, is that who you really want to become? I'll admit, I have seen a few seasons, but instead of wanting to be like those ladies, I only felt depressed. If I did ever turn into one of them, the only thing I had to look forward to is my increasing dependency on men because they have the upper hand in relationships when you start to get on in years. Oh! But they have fashion! Kill me now please. Plus, they are constantly getting hit on/going on dates/sleeping with a new man every episode. I know, it's a tv show and they have to keep it interesting, but that doesn't happen in real life. Well, it doesn't happen to me. But I am real life. Maybe a small percent of women, but real life nonetheless.
Then Liz Lemon came along. In her, we see a woman that is a bad dresser, has an awesome job, has no personal life because she puts everything into her work, is smart, not always put together, and more suburban seventh graders have had more sexual experience than her. that last part is a quote from the show, possibly my favorite. She is the Other Woman, the one who doesn't always get the handsome man and the happy ending. It was refreshing to see her come to life. Through all four seasons, she's had about 3 boyfriends. Okay, now that I'm writing this, it sounds depressing, but it's really not to me. Liz Lemon is me in 15 years, give or take. So much of what she does on the show resonates with me. Combine her with her creator, and there's my hero. She is normal. Here's a quote from her interview with Vogue in March: "I feel like I represent normalcy in some way. What are your choices today in entertainment? People either represent youth, power, or sexuality. And then there's me, carrying normalcy — me and Rachael Ray." Despite struggling to not become typical, I've finally accepted my normal, and I can only hope that that's the worst that'll happen to me.
Tina's managed to become an icon and someone I can aspire to be. As an actress, she gives me hope that I can succeed in comedy, because it's hard to be a successful, funny woman. Some men out there believe that is an oxymoron.
Oh God, this is quickly spiraling into a feminist rant. Ok, I'll sum it up then leave you to your workday:
Tina Fey = awesome. Yeah, that's about it. And ladies you can have you SATC dreams, but I will never stop making fun of it until it stops trying to get me to "like" it on Facebook. Can we get a not interested button or something?
Thursday, August 12, 2010
to tattoo or not...to. give me some credit there.
I was the one who recieved the back tattoos.
I have been constantly changing my views about tattoos over the past few years. At first I was against it, then I was curious, then I swore that I'd only get tribute tattoos (e.g. for someone who has died), but then realized that my skin is only getting worse from here on out, so I don't think anyone would appreciate looking at a stretched out or sagging tattoo. Plus, I change my mind all the time, so I might just grow to hate the future tattoo. Much like i did with my second ear piercings. (Did I really think I'd have enough matching earrings to fill all four holes?)
Well, from what I remember, my dream tattoos involved a quote that I couldn't read on the upper left back, and a "Mad Luck" tattoo with a four-leaf clover underneath it on my mid-lower back on the right. Also, I think I got a name on my left rib cage, but it was small and I couldn't read it when I was looking in the dream mirror. They were nicely done, and they didn't hurt at all, but that's not the point. I remember staring into the mirror and thinking "what have I done?"
I could be grasping at straws, but I think that dream meant I shouldn't get one. Or that I really don't want one.
Maybe they're not for me. I do like certain tattoos I've seen over the years, particularly on guys. On a guy, certain well placed tattoos are really hot. I said certain. I once worked with a kid that had his own tattoo gun and it just looked like he scribbled all over himself. Another girl I worked with got tattoos done for free, which looked like the body art I would inflict on my arm whenever I was bored in class. And that's there forever kids. Plus, girls tend to get the same tattoos: the dolphin on the ankle; the rose on the hip; a name/adjective on the lower back; angel wings on their back; stars on the back of their neck. It's all been done before ladies. *
My sister and I have an agreement that if one of us dies first, the other will have to get a tattoo of us, as an angel, doing jazz hands, perched on our right shoulder blade. Yes, we were sober when we decided this.
I approve of tattoos as long as they are not on your face or make you look like your constantly wearing sleeves or leggings. As for the tramp stamp, go for it ladies. It just makes it easier for the guys to seperate the easy kill from the herd.**
*Oh! and chinese symbols.
**to any tramp stampers out there that did not approve, I'll apologize, but only if you can prove me wrong.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Viva Mexico...Viva America
Ah, Fiesta. It's the only time you can celebrate Old Spanish Days by eating a ton of Mexican food and drinking even more Mexican beer while listening to Mexican Mariachis singing about Mexico.
Santa Barbara started fiesta in order to increase tourism and give police officers a reason to taser anything that resists, but the only things Spanish is the dancing and a lot of white people dressed in flamenco outfits that show too much lower back.
Don't get me wrong, I don't hate on fiesta. I love traditions, especially ones that I can drink to and attack strangers with eggs full of confetti. But there are soooooooo many tourists. But if you're coming to fiesta, you should know better than to venture downtown without stocking up on your own ammo.
So my friends and I went out on Thursday night. I was the first victim to get hit by a cascarone, but thankfully, I wore my hair down, so I could care less. It's funny, part of you wants to get hit by the egg, but part of you does not, but you know it's coming, so it's the anticipation that's the worst thing about it. So we hung around de la guerra plaza, got some tacos, and we were in the line for churros when Maggie asks me if I had been by the coke booth yet. Explanation: My father was part of the Knights of Columbus, and if you're Catholic, you know all about them, but for those who aren't, it's basically a church organization of old men (and my brother) who just hang around and try to get other old men to join their group, but they also raise money via pancake breakfasts and a soda booth during fiesta. I don't know where all that money goes, but they use some of it for scholarships and charities? I don't know. I could look it up, but I'll just wait for some smart ass to correct me. I DARE YOU.
So anyways, my father was strangely and deeply committed to the coke booth at de la guerra. He made us work there one day many fiestas ago, and it was a disaster. We had no idea how anything turned on, or kept going, and I'm pretty sure we served flat soda the first part of the morning. But that only encouraged my father to keep working there, and that led to him reconstructing the booth to make it look nicer, and getting my brother to help out, and my Uncle Bob whenever he came out from Pennsylvania to visit. But the coke booth was my father's adopted child, so to speak. So this was the first year that poor little booth had to sustain without my father. The KOC kindly dedicated it to him, and they asked my mom if they could use a picture. They didn't say which picture.
So back to Thursday. I told Mags that there would be a picture of my dad there, but I didn't see anything the day before. Well Maggie informs me there is indeed a picture of him up, but it looks like a family one. Yes, I was featured on the KOC coke booth. thank god it was a good picture of me. It was a nice gesture. I appreciated it, and then I moved on, little do I know that the next day, there is a picture of our picture in the paper. I know, right?
Well, the rest of the night went pretty well, despite the fact that we went to two Irish bars in town. In our defense, if there was a Cerveseria we'd go there. It would probably be super full and have a huge cover, but this is all hypothetical. We met some British guys who we of course had to cascarone. One didn't take kindly to it, but the others enjoyed it, even if the confetti got into their Cuervo margaritas. I apologized, but I finished with,"well, it's not like you're drinking anything decent." I finished off the night by accepting a ride from my older sister that night, who was lucky enough to get involved in the other tradition that nobody loves: the fiesta DUI checkpoint. It's a long story that she doesn't like me telling, but she got off. barely.
Well, that's about it for my fiesta activities. I am boycotting fiesta pequena until they get a Mariachi band that doesn't ruin my favorite song. I missed the fiesta parade, but I only work a block away from it, so I definitely heard it. I saw a part of the children's parade, but it wasn't intentional. I only pay attention if they're throwing candy, and they were not. You hit one child in the eye with a jolly rancher and suddenly it's not "safe."
So now it's back to nothing. awesome. Oh well, at least the confetti will remain until the next rain.
Santa Barbara started fiesta in order to increase tourism and give police officers a reason to taser anything that resists, but the only things Spanish is the dancing and a lot of white people dressed in flamenco outfits that show too much lower back.
Don't get me wrong, I don't hate on fiesta. I love traditions, especially ones that I can drink to and attack strangers with eggs full of confetti. But there are soooooooo many tourists. But if you're coming to fiesta, you should know better than to venture downtown without stocking up on your own ammo.
So my friends and I went out on Thursday night. I was the first victim to get hit by a cascarone, but thankfully, I wore my hair down, so I could care less. It's funny, part of you wants to get hit by the egg, but part of you does not, but you know it's coming, so it's the anticipation that's the worst thing about it. So we hung around de la guerra plaza, got some tacos, and we were in the line for churros when Maggie asks me if I had been by the coke booth yet. Explanation: My father was part of the Knights of Columbus, and if you're Catholic, you know all about them, but for those who aren't, it's basically a church organization of old men (and my brother) who just hang around and try to get other old men to join their group, but they also raise money via pancake breakfasts and a soda booth during fiesta. I don't know where all that money goes, but they use some of it for scholarships and charities? I don't know. I could look it up, but I'll just wait for some smart ass to correct me. I DARE YOU.
So anyways, my father was strangely and deeply committed to the coke booth at de la guerra. He made us work there one day many fiestas ago, and it was a disaster. We had no idea how anything turned on, or kept going, and I'm pretty sure we served flat soda the first part of the morning. But that only encouraged my father to keep working there, and that led to him reconstructing the booth to make it look nicer, and getting my brother to help out, and my Uncle Bob whenever he came out from Pennsylvania to visit. But the coke booth was my father's adopted child, so to speak. So this was the first year that poor little booth had to sustain without my father. The KOC kindly dedicated it to him, and they asked my mom if they could use a picture. They didn't say which picture.
So back to Thursday. I told Mags that there would be a picture of my dad there, but I didn't see anything the day before. Well Maggie informs me there is indeed a picture of him up, but it looks like a family one. Yes, I was featured on the KOC coke booth. thank god it was a good picture of me. It was a nice gesture. I appreciated it, and then I moved on, little do I know that the next day, there is a picture of our picture in the paper. I know, right?
Well, the rest of the night went pretty well, despite the fact that we went to two Irish bars in town. In our defense, if there was a Cerveseria we'd go there. It would probably be super full and have a huge cover, but this is all hypothetical. We met some British guys who we of course had to cascarone. One didn't take kindly to it, but the others enjoyed it, even if the confetti got into their Cuervo margaritas. I apologized, but I finished with,"well, it's not like you're drinking anything decent." I finished off the night by accepting a ride from my older sister that night, who was lucky enough to get involved in the other tradition that nobody loves: the fiesta DUI checkpoint. It's a long story that she doesn't like me telling, but she got off. barely.
Well, that's about it for my fiesta activities. I am boycotting fiesta pequena until they get a Mariachi band that doesn't ruin my favorite song. I missed the fiesta parade, but I only work a block away from it, so I definitely heard it. I saw a part of the children's parade, but it wasn't intentional. I only pay attention if they're throwing candy, and they were not. You hit one child in the eye with a jolly rancher and suddenly it's not "safe."
So now it's back to nothing. awesome. Oh well, at least the confetti will remain until the next rain.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
The Latest Outrage
you: 1 of 300 frowning, self-absorbed, eye-contact aversive women on state street around farmer's market today
me: listening to ipod, perplexed, possibly projecting his misanthropy on the myriad miserable-looking women of santa barbara.
i've been to a few places, but sb is unique. having been raised in orange county, i thought i'd met a lot of unreliable, selfish, entitled parasites but jesus christ! moving to iv/sb showed me my naiveté. as i stroll state i look (briefly, i don't like too much eye contact, for fear of my thoughts being known i guess) into a lot of faces (also hiding behind shield sunglasses with a strong aversion to eye contact exceeding 1/10th of a second) and i wonder. i wonder if any of you narcissists are thinking about your place in the universe, can distinguish between 'your' and 'you're'/to, too, two/ whose, who's, etc., out-of-control deforestation, excessive whaling, or if we are a human plague (homo sapiens, an earthly disease?)? or are you more concerned with you, lindsay lohan going to jail, or mel gibson's latest bout of misogyny/prejudice. are you?? i want to know!!
so tell me, if you're reading this and think i'm a pretentious asshole (you might be right) feel free to call me on it! but if you're gonna take the time to click, type, and click again, please put some thought in it, cuz for real, it's difficult to find stimulating conversation in this town. if you relate to this, that's cool, i'm not alone in my concerns and neither are you :) and we might get along well.
what i would like to come of this post: 2 things:
1) an intelligent, thoughtful response from an attractive (independent thought is easily the most attractive aspect of any person, in my opinion) girl who also wonders if quality human interaction can be found here
or
2) people in santa barbara to wake up, realize they aren't the only people walking around this pricey town, and act decently toward each other (but i'm not holdin' my breath)
me: listening to ipod, perplexed, possibly projecting his misanthropy on the myriad miserable-looking women of santa barbara.
i've been to a few places, but sb is unique. having been raised in orange county, i thought i'd met a lot of unreliable, selfish, entitled parasites but jesus christ! moving to iv/sb showed me my naiveté. as i stroll state i look (briefly, i don't like too much eye contact, for fear of my thoughts being known i guess) into a lot of faces (also hiding behind shield sunglasses with a strong aversion to eye contact exceeding 1/10th of a second) and i wonder. i wonder if any of you narcissists are thinking about your place in the universe, can distinguish between 'your' and 'you're'/to, too, two/ whose, who's, etc., out-of-control deforestation, excessive whaling, or if we are a human plague (homo sapiens, an earthly disease?)? or are you more concerned with you, lindsay lohan going to jail, or mel gibson's latest bout of misogyny/prejudice. are you?? i want to know!!
so tell me, if you're reading this and think i'm a pretentious asshole (you might be right) feel free to call me on it! but if you're gonna take the time to click, type, and click again, please put some thought in it, cuz for real, it's difficult to find stimulating conversation in this town. if you relate to this, that's cool, i'm not alone in my concerns and neither are you :) and we might get along well.
what i would like to come of this post: 2 things:
1) an intelligent, thoughtful response from an attractive (independent thought is easily the most attractive aspect of any person, in my opinion) girl who also wonders if quality human interaction can be found here
or
2) people in santa barbara to wake up, realize they aren't the only people walking around this pricey town, and act decently toward each other (but i'm not holdin' my breath)
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Third time's a charm
For all two of you out there who used to hang on to my every word (well, that's how I envisioned you in my daydreams), I am back to blogging, despite the fact that everyone's doing it and that I hate the word "blog" so much I want to punch whomever's "creative" juices were responsible for it's existence.
Past Blogging Credits:
I had a travel blog before and that ended due to my return back to the states. It was wildly popular with my mother's friends and I consider that an accomplishment. I also started a bored at work blog but that quickly ended due to loss of creativity that comes hand in hand with an office job. I heard it's not mandated, but highly encouraged.
So now I'm back to my ramblings, but it will all be about things that I like to talk about and no, I do not need to apologize in advance for any cute kitten stories that are bound to crop up from time to time.
I'm not promising too much, but I think you can expect some fiesta stories soon because that's what's going on in my life this week. And true, ever since I was a kid I was a little cynical about fiesta because it started as a tourist trap and in grand Santa Barbara tradition, continues to be a tourist trap, but that was before I started drinking...so now I LOVE fiesta.
Well I hoped I have put you in a frenzy for more of this AWESOME writing (don't crush my dreams just yet), but I'm done for now. I might just go do some good ol' wikipedia reasearch about fiesta. Since my college degree was acquired I actually enjoy looking up facts for a project. I think it's because there's a lack of a deadline and no grade. Is that just me?
Past Blogging Credits:
I had a travel blog before and that ended due to my return back to the states. It was wildly popular with my mother's friends and I consider that an accomplishment. I also started a bored at work blog but that quickly ended due to loss of creativity that comes hand in hand with an office job. I heard it's not mandated, but highly encouraged.
So now I'm back to my ramblings, but it will all be about things that I like to talk about and no, I do not need to apologize in advance for any cute kitten stories that are bound to crop up from time to time.
I'm not promising too much, but I think you can expect some fiesta stories soon because that's what's going on in my life this week. And true, ever since I was a kid I was a little cynical about fiesta because it started as a tourist trap and in grand Santa Barbara tradition, continues to be a tourist trap, but that was before I started drinking...so now I LOVE fiesta.
Well I hoped I have put you in a frenzy for more of this AWESOME writing (don't crush my dreams just yet), but I'm done for now. I might just go do some good ol' wikipedia reasearch about fiesta. Since my college degree was acquired I actually enjoy looking up facts for a project. I think it's because there's a lack of a deadline and no grade. Is that just me?
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